


From Lowtown to Hightown

by hissera



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Lovers to Friends, Romance, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-05-29 11:05:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15071858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hissera/pseuds/hissera
Summary: After spending a year as a mercenary, Marian Hawke is looking for ways to finance her family. She has heard of an expedition into the Deep Roads and knows she cannot afford to miss this chance.This story starts at the end of Act I; it's slow-burn and revolves around Marian Hawke and Fenris.When I recently replayed DA2 after the game's case caught dust over a few years, I had forgotten about certain rules when it comes to romance - particularly Fenris. As I kept playing, I started to spin my own story around the events of the game.





	1. Getting Started

"Don't you think you have enough money for the expedition by now, Hawke?"

"Technically you're right, but we are talking about the Deep Roads, Varric. Do you want me to die halfway through because of my bad equipment just to get my share? I'm hurt, really. I thought we were friends."

Varric started laughing. By now, he noticed her fondness of humour - he couldn’t blame her. Life in Kirkwall wasn’t the best and if jokes made it bearable, so be it. In addition to her sarcastic tone, she raised her right eyebrow and started smirking while making these kinds of remarks.

"All right, all right.", he exclaimed, raising his hands in a protective manner, "If that's the case, the next round is on me. Edwina! Hey! Bring us some more!"

They have been sitting around in Varric's favorite establishment - the Hanged Man. "Best place in Lowtown", as he liked to add. They haven't known each other for long but the moment he approached her to return her wallet, he knew he made the right choice. Hawke was one of many - a Fereldan that tried to flee from the Blight after the Darkspawn decimated their hometown. As if leaving and losing her home wasn't enough, her little brother was killed during their escape. From what Varric gathered so far, they weren't on good terms but who could predict what might have been in the future; now they will never know for certain. She was late in comparison to others and barely made it into Kirkwall. Their last hope was her drunk good-for-nothing uncle. Even Varric knew him because of his late-night appearances in the Hanged Man. Hawke paid for her place in the city with a year in servitude. Now, she was glad to finally focus on rebuilding her life. Somehow, from the moment he saw her, he felt that she'd be the significant and missing piece for this expedition; however, Varric didn't imagine how big her impact would be on his life.

"I know I'm annoying, but let's face it - the faster we get into the Deep Roads, the better. You buy the equipment you need and we are settled - map, money and muscle. We got everything we need."

"Varric, I know. I told you I'll be ready in a few days. These merchants try to screw everybody over and I'm not willing to lose my hard-earned coin to greedy men.", Hawke nodded at Edwina as she brought more beer for the two. Her gaze wandered across the bar; all the drunken patrons, sitting alone at their tables, the few men standing directly in front of the bar, trying to convince the present ladies to share a room for the night. She liked it here. While it smelled of piss, vomit and alcohol, it had a certain charm Isabela and Varric always praised. She understood what they meant, yet she also liked her environment to be clean from time to time - at least as clean as Gamlen’s little apartment could get.

After he took a gulp of beer, he asked: "Who should we bring with us?"

"Let's see - Aveline won't be a good idea given the fact that she actually has a job. I don't think Bethany is an option since my mother would kill me in the process. There's still Isabela, Fenris, Merrill and that Warden, Anders, we got the map from. Personally, I think Fenris might be useful since he's strong. Plus I don't think he cares about the money.”

Varric grinned and nodded in agreement. “I like the way you think, Hawke. Isabela is quite the opposite though - she might steal everything we find to buy herself a new boat and crew. And who knows, it might be good to have a mage with us after all."

“Oh no, don't tell me you miss Fenris’ banter on the evil magisters from the Tevinter Imperium!"

They both started to chuckle.

✻ ✻ ✻

 

The first day of the expedition couldn't have gone worse - Marian even woke up with a stiff neck. When she finally left her uncle's home, she made her way to the Hanged Man for Varric. While waiting for him to get ready, one of the more talkative people in the bar kept telling her about his views on the chantry. She tried everything - the kind excuse of having no time for him to the threats of granting him a new hole - yet nothing worked. While she threatened him, another customer came along and tried to defend the talkative man by throwing his beer at her. She managed to duck but when the metal mug collided with the wall behind her, its substance splattered all over her. Now she was annoyed, sticky, stiff and stinking of beer. Staring at him with her piercing light blue eyes, the drunk realized his grave mistake, immediately turned around with widened eyes and tried to stumble away. For a moment, she contemplated going after him but the fuss wasn't worth it. Additionally, she wanted to get the expedition started as soon as possible now that she was geared up. There was no point in fighting more Darkspawn than necessary. The talkative man noticed Hawke's worsened mood and decided it'd be best for him to leave her be.

As he left, Varric stepped out of his room. When he saw Hawke with her wet, black hair and partially dripping armor, he couldn't help but laugh. In response, she stared at him in annoyance.

"Do I even want to know what happened?", he asked, still chuckling. "Do you want to use my room? I told you that you should feel at home."

He expected her to respond with a witty remark the way she usually did but she simply passed him. After a few moments, he heard a splashing noise and she exited his room with her hair and armor completely soaked.

"What-?"

"Don't ask. Just know that you don't have any water left in that jug of yours."

 

 

After picking up Varric, their next stop was in Darktown for Anders. There, Hawke caught the attention of five beggars, who were repeatedly shouting how shiny her armor was. They yelled "But you certainly have money!" as they tried to run after them.

“Do these poor fools not realize that it’s shiny because it’s wet?”, Varric asked, looking over his shoulder to the little crowd while the distance between them grew larger. He turned his gaze to Hawke, who looked at him as best as she could while running and shrugged in return. Her armor was heavier than it needed to be but this was a better alternative to feeling sticky, she thought.

When they finally arrived, Anders said that he needed another five minutes to heal a little refugee girl from Ferelden who seemed to suffer from internal bleeding. Hawke could have asked and learned about the circumstances but given how young this girl was, she wasn’t sure whether she actually wanted to know. Kirkwall was a dangerous place to many Fereldans and this wouldn’t change for quite some time. She was lucky to even live in Lowtown - most didn’t manage to get out of Darktown. Poverty was a common case among the people that lived in these parts of town and everybody knew that.

“This place is a gift for all those snobs from Hightown.”, Varric said, sounding disgusted.

Hawke knew what the meant. Guards were stationed around Hightown to protect the rich; Lowtown rarely got any attention from their side. Darktown valued even less. Illegal activities were practiced freely and the rich people were protected simply due to their location. Hawke hoped for a better future for these people, especially now with Aveline as guard captain. 

In the end, it took longer than five minutes but Hawke and Varric understood that the matter was urgent. The girl seemed in a lot of pain and Hawke couldn’t help but turn away. There was nothing funny she could think of in this situation and she spared the the people around her with her sardonic thoughts.

 

 

When the three of them arrived at Fenris's mansion in Hightown, the elf was caught up in a discussion with Isabela. As Hawke, Varric and Anders entered, the voices died down. An awkward silence spread across the room after they greeted each other.

"Well, are you guys going somewhere?", Isabela asked when she noticed their gear.

Hawke started to respond but all she managed was a stretched 'uh' noise. She hasn't told her about the planned expedition.

"Actually, I got some family business that needs to be taken care of.", Varric suddenly said in a sincere and yet strangely intimidating tone. His inflection left no room for Isabela to ask further questions.

"Oh, gotcha. Well, time to leave in that case.”, she got up from her chair and faced Fenris a last time before turning around. “Don't brood too much without me around."

When she passed them, she winked at Hawke.

After a short silence in which they waited for her to leave the mansion and exchanged looks, Hawke said: "Well, that was only partially a lie. Fenris, are you ready?"

"Yes. We should move on."

 

 

In comparison to the rest of the morning, their walk to Hightown was unspectacular. They made their way to Bartrand, who was standing between the giant dwarven statues that represented the entrance to the Deep Roads. As they approached, Bartrand's eyes narrowed.

"Varric, who are these people? An elf, an.... apostate? And a _woman_?", Bartrand's emphasis lied a bit too heavy on the last word. Hawke furled her eyebrows while looking at the dwarf.

"Bartrand! So suspicious! I have, in fact, brought us our future partner!", Varric exclaimed while he threw his hands in the air.

"What?", Bartrand yelled. "Partner! You stupid, nug-humping dirt-farmer! Why did you go promising something like that? On top of that to a woman!" He turned to her, examined her from head to toe and turned back to his brother. “Also, why are her clothes wet?”

Hawke rolled her eyes. Everybody gathered from his first statement that Bartrand didn’t trust her in terms of business due to her gender but the fact that he addressed his brother with questions concerning her appearance as if she wasn’t present made it even more personal.

"Because if we don't get this expedition moving, brother, then we won't have any profits to argue about, will we?", Varric looked smug at his brother, who, in return, sighed.

"I guess you have a point.", Bartrand mentioned, reluctantly.

Hawke was starting to feel annoyed by their pointless banter and Bartrand's blatant sexism. She wanted to know whether she could be a part of the expedition or if she was wasting her time by being there. Cutting straight to the point, she asked:"So, partners?"

"Do you have the coin?", he asked in return, addressing her directly for the first time.

"I do, in fact.", she smirked at his bewildered expression. Quickly shifting her gaze to Varric, she noticed his, still, smug expression. She knew that the two of them didn’t get along too well. This was one of many aspects she shared with her dwarven friend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I am actually publishing therefore: remarks and comments of any sort are appreciated!  
> The biggest concern I have while writing is that, for me personally, it is boring to explicitly state everything so I tend to jump between scenes..


	2. The Deep Roads - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making Hawke a partner was only the beginning of the Deep Roads expedition.

After Hawke handed Anders’s map to Bartrand, he addressed the rest of his people. “Gather up, everybody! We've chosen one of the hidden entrances. The Deep Roads there will be nice and virginal, ready for a good deflowering.", Bartrand started laughing.

Hawke couldn’t help but roll her eyes and hide her face behind her hand. Bartrand had a talent called second-hand embarrassment. He questioned her potential as a partner but talked about an entrance to the Deep Roads as if it were a woman’s private parts. She leaned down to Varric. “Tell me: did your brother even partake in consensual deflowering before?”, she whispered into the back of her hand that she positioned in front of her mouth.

Varric burst out laughing. “I don’t want to know any of that but… I highly doubt it.”

“They say people are fixated on the things they lack.”, Anders threw in. Apparently Hawke spoke loud enough for the rest of her companions to hear her. Only then did she notice Fenris’s small smile.

Bartrand came up to them. “I hope you are ready for this since we will be underground for a few weeks.”, he said, looking at Hawke.

She was a little bit surprised. The fact that the mighty Bartrand would address her, a woman in a group of men and directly on top of that, truly was an honor. His mimic suddenly changed; at first he looked bewildered, then angry.

“Oh, did I just say that out loud?”, Hawke added, smirking.

Bartrand started murmuring into his beard and walked off. Hawke turned around because she wanted to talk to Fenris, but instead she was confronted with the image of her mother and sister approaching. She suppressed a sigh that tried to find its way out of her mouth. She loved her family dearly, but being around them was hard for her. They reminded her of everything that went wrong in her life so far. Her father died three years before the fifth Blight had begun; they didn’t have the time to even begin recovering from that loss. Being the first-born of the Hawke’s, Marian helped her mother Leandra in supporting the family.

When she was five years old, the twins were born. From that moment on, she was less important. She became accustomed to this; understanding, despite her young age, that taking care of two infants at once was no easy task. The fact that she dearly loved her siblings further helped. However, as the years progressed and it became clear that Bethany had an arcane talent, their father’s focus shifted towards her entirely. He started to train Bethany and teach her how to control her powers. Marian liked to sit by and watch the two of them whenever she had time. Malcom Hawke’s priority was to show his children that magic wasn’t something they needed to be afraid of. Carver suffered more under these circumstances. He always felt neglected by their father.

Kirkwall was still new for Marian - this city was a chance for a better life. She could leave the events from Ferelden behind and make new, better memories in Kirkwall. But, whenever she looked into her mother’s face, the undeniability of her past and the reality of the present came crashing down on her. When she looked at her mother, she thought of her father. When she looked at her sister, she thought of her brother. Even if her brother never missed a single opportunity to spite her, she knew he didn’t have problems with her personally - he was unhappy with his life and their entire situation. She knew this because he'd always be on her side whenever people outside of the family started to pick fights with her. Being the only man of the family and letting your older sister take care of you because you are unable to provide for your family? It must’ve hurt him in some way. He always felt inferior to Marian and she knew that. The moment he died, she wasn’t entirely sure how to feel. She loved him when they were children but he made it hard for her to like him in the past few years.

Hawke, who had been lost in thoughts for a second, shook her head, trying to remind herself of her current whereabouts. Her mother and sister nearly reached her and she was about to greet them but her mother didn’t waste a single second on formalities - instantly asking whether Hawke planned to take Bethany with her.

“Well, I didn’t bring her here; that’s on you, dear mother. Obviously, you want to get rid of all your children at once. Do you have any plans in particular? It’s quite suspicious”, Hawke’s tone was oozing with sarcasm.

"Maker! How dare you say something like this? Of course I'm against it! It's bad enough that you'll be gone! I don't think I could stand losing both of you!”

"Thanks for already expecting my death, mother. Personally, I thought there’s a _slim_ chance of surviving the Deep Roads."

Hawke's mother looked bewildered at her oldest child. "You know what I mean!"

"Don't worry. I'll leave Bethany in your company and make us rich in the meantime. No big deal.", she said while waving her hand around.

"Please be careful.", said Bethany while approaching her sister. She hugged her. As Bethany let go of Hawke, she took a step back, smiling sadly. "I don't want to lose another sibling."

Hawke returned the smile. Then, she turned to her mother and hugged her. "You both should know that I'm not that easy to kill." As she let go of her mother, she looked at the two of them. Her initial plan was to leave without saying goodbye - she didn’t need to start a journey with grief and nostalgia stuck in her throat. Nevertheless, she knew they would have noticed her absence and she didn’t want them to worry more than they had to.

She looked at Varric. The dwarf was waiting at her side, patiently. She turned her gaze to the rest of the people that had gathered. Many of Bartrand’s employees were saying their farewells the same way she did with her family. Some seemed indifferent, others cried. Again, she turned to her mother and Bethany. With a serious expression, she looked at her sister. “Don’t do anything that draws attention”, then she turned to her mother, “and you look out for her and Gamlen.” They both nodded. “Okay.”, Hawke sighed. “It’s time you leave.”

Her mother opened her mouth, ready to protest, but Bethany softly put her hands on Leandra’s shoulders, who, in return, slowly closed her mouth again. She lowered her gaze as Bethany put an arm around her shoulders and turned her away.

“Take care, sis.”, Bethany murmured over her shoulder.

Hawke kept staring at their backs until they turned around a corner and were finally gone. She took a deep breath.

“Hawke, are you all right?”, Fenris asked. She turned her head to look at him and tried to display her most sincere smile.

“Never been better.”

She saw that he didn’t believe her, but he didn’t pry further into the matter. If she didn’t want to talk about it when he asked the first time, she won’t give an answer simply because he questions her a second time. Hawke and the rest of her friends went up to Bartrand.

"Can we please get going? All these goodbyes make me homesick and we haven't even left yet."

✻ ✻ ✻

 

They knew the Deep Roads were ancient dwarven ruins but actually walking through them was an entirely different matter than to simply inspect a map.

After thirty minutes, Hawke felt as if she was caught in a maze. Everything looked the same - the hallways, the doors, the rooms, even the boulders that were in their way. She was used to leading but this place made her doubt her orientation abilities.

After an hour, she acknowledged that she might regret taking a shower in the Hanged Man. While her armor dryed a little in the meantime, it wasn’t completely dry. If the Darkspawn wouldn't kill her, the potential cold might.

After two hours, Varric stopped trying to entertain them. As predicted, Fenris and Anders managed to turn everything into a discussion concerning mages. Hawke understood Anders, maybe she was too biased because of her father and sister, but she also understood Fenris and his opinion concerning the freedom of mages.

After three hours, her feet started hurting. She couldn't decide what bothered her most - the bickering, the way her surrounding didn't seem to change no matter how far they went or the never-ending orange hue, occasionally mixed with ice blue.

“Big fucking treasure,” Hawke mumbled while looking at the floor in front of her. They didn’t seem to find much of anything, really. A lot of the rooms they entered were completely empty, some seemed promising upon first glance but they had to realize that they still proved worthless - nobody makes a fortune with rusty gear.

At some point, Hawke completely lost track of time. Probably the easiest thing to do underground. How long have they been down here? Also, was it night or daytime? Exhaustion spread across her whole body, starting from her feet. She turned to see how her companions were and they didn’t seem all too well either. Varric, as well as Anders, had this strange aura of dissatisfaction surrounding his entire being and Fenris was, as Isabela liked to describe it, brooding.

“Bartrand, how about we make camp?”, Hawke suggested.

All of a sudden, as if he was bitten by something, he jumped up and started yelling. “What? We haven’t found anything yet!”

“Bartrand, beloved brother, we’re tired.”, Varric argued.

“I knew women were bad luck..”, Bartrand mumbled. “Do whatever.”

Hawke and the others stopped walking and exchanged glances. Varric shrugged. “Might as well set camp, then.” He turned around to the rest of the people that had joined the expedition and yelled, “Everybody! Set up a camp!”

The caravan of people came to a halt around them. They opened their bags, bringing out tents and other necessities. A few worked on a fireplace, others unpacked the food ration for the day and the rest set the tents up. Hawke hadn’t spend a single thought on who she’d share a tent with. She didn’t care as long as it wasn’t Varric’s dear brother. Inspecting her immediate surrounding, she noticed a boulder that she could abuse as a chair. “You’re mine.”, she whispered in menacing voice. Sitting on her new favorite boulder, that in all honesty looked just as the next boulder standing in her way, she inspected the people around her. The provisional fireplace was lit and they already had meat roasting on top of it. She wondered how much food they actually brought along. She noticed that most of the tents seemed set up already. Varric was further away, discussing with Bartrand. She had no idea where Fenris was but she spotted Anders, as he got food. As if he felt her gaze, he looked up and returned the stare. Shortly after, when he picked up everything he wanted, he made his way towards Hawke.

"That's why I left the Wardens. I hate the blighted Deep Roads.", Anders mentioned while sitting down next to her boulder.

“I can clearly see why. Everything looks the same.”, she expressed the reoccurring thoughts she had since they entered the at this point deflowered entrance.

He took a bite of his bread and cheese. ”Tell me about it. But, I expected more Darkspawn.”

“I was thinking the same thing.”, she said, nodding slowly in agreement. She spotted Fenris as he walked into her view, on his way to the food as well. He spoke with one of Bartrand’s people, who turned away and suddenly searched the bags. Pulling out a bottle and handing it over to Fenris, Hawke had a small suspicion what it contained.

Anders opened his mouth; he wanted to ask Hawke whether she wasn’t hungry, but he noticed that she was mentally in a different place. He followed her stare and saw Fenris. Lowering his gaze, he dedicated his attention to his food.

Since Hawke was still captured by the elf, she noticed how Varric approached him. They exchanged a few words, looked into her direction and started moving towards her and Anders.

“Hey Hawke, do you think we can let these two sleep in a tent?”, Varric asked, grinning, as he sat down in front of her. Fenris took the free place next to her boulder, opposite of Anders.

“I know we expected a fight, but just because we haven’t encountered any Darkspawn yet you don’t need to provoke one.”, she grinned as well.

“I see it as some sort of therapy.” At this point, Fenris snarled.

“Oh, sure. And tomorrow morning they're best friends. Inseparable. Basically like a couple.”, she countered. Varric laughed, Anders threw a death glare in Hawke’s direction and Fenris made a disgusted noise. She could feel them dislike her more by the second, deciding she teased them enough for the moment. “But, all jokes aside: how are the tents assigned?”

“However we want, from what I gathered.”, Varric shrugged. “I just don’t want to share one with my brother.”

“Me neither.”, Fenris and Hawke said at the same time. They exchanged a look; she smiled at him while he turned back to the bottle.

“Well, I’d have suggested that we could share a tent, Hawke, but I know you can’t resist me and I’m not sure our friendship could handle that. So, I’ll go with Blondie here.” Hawke started grinning while she watched Varric punch Anders softly in the shoulder, which earned him a suspicious look.

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“Then, it’s you and me, Hawke?”, Fenris turned towards her.

“Disappointed?”, she raised her right eyebrow.

“On the contrary.”, he mumbled, sipping on his bottle.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, where did you get that from? Is there more?”, Varric eyed the bottle. “Antivan?”

Fenris nodded. “Yes, though I am not sure whether there is more.” He held the bottle towards Varric. “Care to share?”

Varric chuckled as he took the bottle from the elf. “That has a nice ring to it. I might use that phrase in one of my stories.”

Hawke looked at the three of them. These are the moments she anticipated when she left Lothering. She hated leaving home behind but at the same time she saw the potential of starting anew. Visiting new places, meeting different people. During their escape, she noticed an essential difference between herself and the rest of her family: unlike her mother and siblings, she wasn’t anxious. For her, surviving the moment was more important than thinking ahead of what might be in case they didn’t die in one of the continuous Darkspawn waves.

“Everybody, in your tents! I don’t pay you for sitting around. The earlier you go to sleep, the earlier we can continue this.”, Bartrand yelled while walking past several people, that tried to eat in peace.

“Yes, brother, scream a bit louder. I don’t think the last Hurlock heard you.”, Varric glared at his brother, who didn’t seem to care.

The four of them exchanged looks once again. Then, one after another, they got up. Varric handed the bottle over to its righteous owner while Anders gathered his food and looked at the person he’d share his tent with.

They decided which tents they’d sleep in. In order to keep close company, they took tents next to each other. Hawke wished Varric and Anders a sound sleep and entered the tent first. Her only problem was her armor. How would she sleep in it? Was it wise to take it off in case Darkspawn appeared in the middle of the, presumably since she was unable to tell for certain, night? While she was lost in her thoughts about how to proceed, Fenris entered the tent. With the bottle in his right hand, he nodded at her and plumbed down in one corner of the tent.

“You can occupy a little more space than that, you know?”, she said.

He nodded. Then, he stretched his arm and held out the bottle towards her.

A bit surprised, she went ahead to grab it. With the bottle in one hand, she sat down and took a sip. “Well, I understand why you drink it nearly every evening.”

He smiled at her. Hawke handed the bottle back.

After a moment of silence, she started: “Fenris, can I ask you a rather dull question?”

He finished his gulp and looked at her. Then he nodded.

“Do you sleep in your armor?”

 

In the end, Hawke lied awake in her somewhat armor wearing state. Fenris’s answer wasn’t quite as helpful as she had anticipated; he explained her that he had been accustomed to wearing armor from all the years he had been running from his former slave master. Hawke however wasn’t used to sleeping in her fighting gear. While she kept her pants and gloves, she had to take the big chest piece off in case she wanted to lie comfortably - at least as comfortable as the stone ground of the Deep Roads allowed. She wasn’t sure what had been the better alternative: her armor, which wouldn’t allow her to lie properly, or the thin cloth, enabling her to feel the hardness of the stones underneath her even more. It seemed to her that it increased the uncomfortability of her situation.

After Fenris had given his answer, not without looking at her in confusion for a second, he said it would be wise to sleep and get rest. She hadn’t known him for long, but was oddly drawn to the elf. She was unable to pinpoint the reason for this affection - whether it was his appearance, his fighting style, his behavior or his character, she couldn’t tell. Perhaps it had been a combination of them all.

Before she was able to take her chest piece off, he had already turned around, positioning himself on his side, facing the tent. Why did he murmur that it would be “on the contrary” when asked if he was disappointed to share a tent with her if he wouldn’t even speak with her for more than a minute? Perhaps it was also his ability to remain mysterious that drew her towards him. A bit perplex, she just nodded to herself, crawling to her side of the tent.

Now, she couldn’t fall asleep. If she were in a tent with Varric, she would simply ask whether he was asleep or not. However, she didn’t dare to do this with Fenris. So, she was laying there, unable to fall asleep. Staring at the ceiling of the tent, she questioned whether the others outside would turn the lights off or whether they would keep burning. She hadn’t noticed whether guards were assigned - she hoped there were. Unconsciously, a sigh escaped her mouth. She turned to her right side. Had she been too exhausted to fall asleep? After the first day? She turned around again, now facing towards Fenris. He hadn’t changed his position at all. Was it because this situation was new to her? Once again, she turned around, facing the ceiling. She closed her eyes and thought of a trick her father had taught her when she was little.

“When I can’t sleep, I imagine that my soul leaves my body.” Marian vaguely knew back then what her father referred to, but she didn’t understand the meaning of the sentence overall. She had asked him where the soul would go and why he imagined such a thing - she didn’t want his soul to leave her behind! He laughed when she told him that. Bittersweet, Marian smiled into the darkness while a tear left the corner of her eye without her noticing it until it ran down to her ear. She wiped it away, still thinking of her father. Now she knew that he thought his soul to wander the Fade. Unlike her sister, she didn’t share her father’s extraordinary abilities, which rendered her more incapable of understanding his trick. At first, at least. Hawke found out that the trick worked without including the Fade - she would simply imagine her soul, or conscience, or whatever it is in the end, slowly hovering out of her body. Sometimes she had to push it by imagining an invisible force under her control, but she always managed it in the end. Right before her soul would leave her, she would fall asleep. This night, she had to push hard and a lot of times.

 

“Rise and shine!”, someone yelled, two feet away from Hawke.

She jolted up, eyes wide open. As she examined her surrounding, her hand instinctively went to grab her sword.

“Whoa, easy.”

When Hawke finally came to all senses, she realized that the voice belonged to none other than Varric. She looked at the dwarf, letting go of her sword. Instantly, her head went to the place where she expected to be greeted by Fenris’s sight, but he was nowhere to be found. Hawke felt a little sting in her chest; unsure why she felt this disappointment. Her gaze shot back to Varric, who smiled at her. She raised her hands to her face, where she started to rub her eyes while yawning.

“Not who you expected, huh?”, he said, teasingly.

Hawke started grinning as she turned back to him. “Varric, you know it’s always a pleasant surprise to see you.”

He shook his head while a smirk spread across his face. “Come on, get your gear on. You need to eat.”

Hawke nodded and he left the tent, granting her a bit of privacy while putting on the rest of her armor. After a short moment, she exited the tent and looked around. Nearly everybody was up and running. She felt quite rested but surely she couldn’t be the last person that woke up? Or, in her case, had been woken up.

“Don’t tell me you waited for everybody else to wake up first?”, she asked, while they made their way to Bartrand’s people that handed out food.

“I just woke up myself. Then I noticed that Blondie was already up and about, same as the elf.”

“In that case, we should share a tent next time - at least we will oversleep the expedition together.”

Varric started to laugh. “Well, that’s the kind of comradery I’m talking about!”

Hawke smiled and, as they reached their goal, inspected the food they offered. She was hungry since she didn’t eat the night before. Varric must’ve felt the same way, given that she hadn’t seen him eat before they went to sleep. She selected a bun and some cheese - seriously, where was the meat from the night before? - and looked at Varric. He didn’t seem too pleased about the offer, either. Shrugging, he took after Hawke and, together with their food, they looked for a place to sit down and eat. They saw Bartrand, who seemed to be headed their direction. Varric sighed. “Oh, great.” Bartrand approached them, but before he was able to speak to them, a scout ran around the corner and towards them, after he noticed them.

"The passage up ahead is blocked and the way around is too dangerous for us.", he exclaimed.

Bartrand started shouting: "What am I even paying you for?" He punched the scout, who went to the ground. From the corner of her eye, Hawke saw how others around them flinched. She disliked Bartrand like any other sane person with moral integrity would, but the way he thought he owned people simply because he was paying them disgusted her.

"Bartrand! You never fail to impress me. Hey, how about I go and check the other passages? I can handle Darkspawn.", Hawke said, trying to defuse the situation.

"Sod off! Do what you will!", Bartrand stomped away.

“Well, whatever he had to say, we won’t have to endure it anymore thanks to this poor lad.”, Varric stated, gesturing towards the scout that slowly stood up. He looked around, embarrassed and confused. Hawke felt bad for him; it wasn’t his fault, he was simply the messenger and bearer of bad news.

Hawke turned around to look for the rest of her companions. “Varric, how about we eat this while we search for the early birds of our group?”

He nodded. While they roamed around the camp, earning an angry stare from Bartrand that stated ‘what are you still doing here’ better than his mouth ever could, they ran into Fenris, who cleaned his gear. Hawke explained the problem to him and he tagged along. As they saw Anders, who was casting spells on some of Bartrand’s scouts, a dwarf suddenly appeared in front of Hawke’s view.

"Excuse me, I heard you are heading to the other passages? I hate to add to your burdens, but I fear I must. I fear my boy has wandered off! Would you please keep an eye out for him? He just... doesn't understand danger like he should. I beg you!"

Hawke looked at the elderly dwarf and nodded. "Of course we'll bring him back if we can."

“Poor Sandal, I can’t believe he’s done this!”

Hawke gave him a small smile as he turned around and left them.

They picked Anders up and made their way past the blocked passageway. Surprisingly, the other passage was very straight-forward, rendering it impossible to get lost. But, as the scout had predicted, Darkspawn were crawling the place. For some odd reason, Hawke was happy. Finally there was some fighting! Darkspawn were nothing new to her - her escape from Ferelden had already prepared her for this expedition in a weird way.

Whenever they ran into a group of them, Fenris would stand still, scream and then rush into the horde. Hawke would run after him, leaving Varric and Anders behind. It wasn’t as if they would need rush into the fight, using arrows and spells. Hawke still needed some time to adjust to Fenris’s fighting style. He reminded her of Carver, who’d also charge into battle head-over-heels.

After a few fights, they came across a trail of dead Hurlocks on the ground. As they followed them, they saw a dwarf, standing around, their back turned towards them.

“Well, I’ll be a nug’s uncle. Isn’t that the boy?”, Varric asked.

Hawke approached the boy, who turned around as he heard them. His face was covered with blood spatters, and he greeted them, smiling.

Hawke chuckled slightly, while she went down to one knee in front of Sandal. “I’d really like to know how you managed to kill all of them.”

In an answer to her question, he handed her a rune and simply said “boom”. Then, he turned away from her, passed the group and went the way they came from. Hawke stood up again as they watched him leave.

“Smart boy”, Varric claimed. “Come on, we still need to find another way around the blockage.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm quite inconsistent when it comes to writing - maybe because I'm big on procrastination. And on replaying dragon age currently, which might drain some of my time tbh
> 
> Did I mention that this story is slow burn and its purpose is to actually butcher all of Hawke's emotions?


End file.
